Category Archives: life

fear, inspirational, life, motivational, process, success, transformation

What do you fear?

What do you fear? I was thinking about that this morning as I had my tea in the backyard. Then I saw that my friend Tobi Camilli had written a blog post about How To Be Fearless today. (Link at the end of this post.)  Let’s kick fear to the curb!

I don’t live a life filled with fear, but it’s exactly what holds me back from creating a life that is truly great! As I had my tea I was watching a dove picking at my lawn, not showing much fear of me. I remembered a time when one of the feral cats caught a dove and the screams of fear the bird emitted. Animals (as far as I know) live in the now. I doubt they have a concept of life and death, but they feel fear at the moment of death, or at being caught.

We are born into this world as predator or victim. It is a world based on eat or be eaten, the jungle law prevails. That is the natural law of things. Animal and human alike don’t want to die. That is a built-in fear that can’t be avoided.

However, humans have taken fear to staggering heights. Through history we have tales of horrifying torture, greed, betrayal, you name it.  No wonder we don’t trust each other since history inspires nothing but mistrust of our leaders and people in general.

That fear is known and normal, but what about the fear that stops us from accomplishing our goals and desires? It’s like two strains of fear that have been downloaded through the ages: one for survival and the other to make us small and helpless.

Humans rule the world and the animal kingdom with a heavy hand, all due to fear. The strongest and the wealthiest is the one in power, but truly, that is just a huge buffer against the threat of being poor and helpless.

True greatness comes from the inner unfolding of the soul / spirit.  Mahatma Gandhi is a good example of that. As we know he didn’t have many worldly riches, and he ordained peaceful solutions to all conflicts. A truly masterful leader who created massive change through peace.  I don’t know if he walked around with fear of assassins, but I doubt it.

Bravery comes from within. It’s not the product of an outside situation. To grow true bravery we have to become intimate with our soul and its needs. It does not want small and fearful. It wants us to step up and unfold into true greatness. We are all seeds of the gods.  Your greatness is different from mine, and it’s there for the taking. We all compliment each other.

Fact of the matter is: that kind of fear is a flimsy excuse. It’s like smoke and mirrors, not really real. We are bamboozled by the specter of fear and we swear to its veracity.

But, if you have challenged fear in the past you know about the flimsy excuse and it gets easier and easier to act in the face of it.

The real challenge is to release the old patterns that our parents’ (and history) imprinted in us from day one. My parents’  message was, play it small and safe. But I have rebelled against that over and over so now is the time to eradicate such imprinting for good! I’ve been using EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, with great success in the past, and it keeps on working. If you want to kick your fearful small self out for good, check out some YouTube videos on how to do EFT and get started.

Take charge of your life now and do the things you really want to do. You’ll be happier for it.

Tobi, as I mentioned above, has some other suggestions to releasing fear. Check out her blog HERE.

xo

Maria

P.S. If you are looking for some free or paid e-courses that I offer, please go HERE.

art, inspirational, life, motivational, process, purpose, self help, success, transformation, unstuck

Begin anywhere and anyway!

 

looking-muscle-21999417

Hello friends,

Begin anywhere and anyway; have you heard it before?  I’m sure you have. I have, many times, and I’ve told myself to “just do it” many times, and I do, BUT the tendency is to always fall back to the status quo of mediocrity.  I could call that laziness, but that word is like a bog of negative possibilities, all not supportive of life.  The solution to this is to strengthen the muscle of resolve.

So many TV programs and self-help books are dedicated to bettering yourself in some way, like losing those 30 lbs, or becoming a better parent. We get lost in the possibilities and the result is inaction, or in my case, boredom.

Let’s talk about the muscle of resolve. When you decide to stop smoking or losing weight for instance, you must have resolve, or that busy little devil on your shoulder will soon talk you into starting the new habit tomorrow, always tomorrow.

So, any time we take on a challenge we have to face making a decision. If you want to start exercising or stop a bad habit, you make that decision. There is usually a threat involved, like bad health that propels a person into action, but not always. I have seen people with stage 4 lung cancer wheel their drip bag stand out to the smoking room at the hospital and puff away. That is what I call giving up. The little devil won.

How hard is it to make a decision?  It’s hard unless you’re so fed up with status quo, or as Anthony Robbins says, “you’re in so much pain you have to change.” The old is no longer an option.  It’s something to pray for. Pain is good because it forces us to change, but why go that far?

That’s where the headline of this post comes in: Begin anywhere and anyway.  Say you have a dream of accomplishing something great in your life. It’s that thing that’s always bugging you at the back of your mind.  A deep desire for change.

I’m appalled at how stuck we are in the ruts and routines and the FEARS of change. But if you truly want to change, to create something new for yourself, start NOW.  You don’t need fancy equipment (well, you might at some point but not now,) you don’t need extra time, you don’t need a block of 2 days of me-time to get things straightened out.

All you need is to make that decision, and make it over and over when you fall of the wagon. As you keep dedicating yourself you build the resolve muscle you will have to re-make your decision. The trick to staying on the wagon is to get some excitement going about your project. It makes the decision easy every time.

Start with ONE thing to forward your dream. It could be as little as a phone call or email.

What can you do this week, Monday-Friday, to make strides? Make a short list of doable steps. Only you know what is needed. As you take small actions every day, your excitement will grow, and so will your commitment.

Then you fall off the wagon again…  and again.

BUT the tool is simple. Make tiny goals each day and accomplish them, and as you follow this path, your to-do list will grow because you can see the progress, and you want to get THERE, so you delve more deeply into the dream and find more possibilities for expansion.  One step can reveal a big revelation. One email can open doors to connections you only dreamed of in the past.

What do I do every day? I am an artist and writer, and those are the subjects I keep delving into every day. My morning looks like this pretty much every morning:

Cup of tea in my back yard.

Meditate to get in the flow.

Walk 20 minutes. Hot as hell sometimes in FL. I slacked with my exercise for years, but I used to be committed to keeping in shape, and I discovered that muscle memory still works! Now I’m addicted to walking.

Write 750 word in my online journal at 750words.com. I usually write more than that since writing is in my blood and I like to blog as well.

Have a green smoothie for breakfast, and after that I feel out what I want to focus on that day. It’s not always easy. The little devil will always sit there and jabber away, but he can be trained!

When I was a fulltime writer I made up my mind to write ten pages a day, and I have followed that for forever. The writing isn’t always glowing. It rarely is, but I keep going.  I have no fears around showing up on the page. Crappy writing can always be fixed.

Art is a different animal altogether. That muscle has a mind of its own… I have never been able to tame it, but my challenge is to show up at the art journal page or the canvas. I can do that, but the resistance is powerful most of the time. They say to push through the resistance and I do, and I find myself happy on the other side. The other kind of resistance is the one that says “this is not good for you.” It has a different feel, like facing a brick wall. Then I listen to that, and every day has a forward flow of small positive increments.

When I fall off the wagon I get so uncomfortable in my skin that I have to get back on, or DIE, (not really, but there is no compromise.)

To accomplish something worthwhile, start tiny and grow from there. Make that decision, dedicate yourself, kick the fears to the curb, take small action steps, and soon you’ll have something new and wonderful in your life. Grow your awesome self via the muscle of resolve!!!  🙂

inspirational, intuitive, life, motivational, purpose, transformation

The moment of NOW.

now

Hello friends,

We plan and we struggle. We look toward the future and the possibilities that might unfold for us. We like to watch the horizon and imagine new things. Nothing wrong with that, but the fact is, the only time is NOW.

You can’t imagine now. It can only be experienced, and it can be boring, right?  We are addicted to excitement, shiny new things. Meanwhile life happens, increment by increment, and who says there will be more than just ONE moment?

There is a moment when you take your first breath,  or more correctly, the breath is given to you, and there is a moment when it leaves the body.  All that awesomeness happens in one moment, no beginning, no end. It just “is.”

I’m hearing this quite often now: “Do what you want or what you feel like doing. That can change from moment to moment. Isn’t that how small children live?  They do something wholeheartedly for one moment, and then move on to the next thing without a thought of what went before.  The world stands still because they are present in every moment.  Awareness…

What does that have to do with a successful art business or any other business? I have learned that no matter how much I plan or try new things, they never end up as planned, or new inspiration comes in, or doesn’t, that moves the path forward in a new direction.

So, I feel the new dynamic is to enjoy life, to forget the sweat and the struggle to get SOMEWHERE.  Find the joy in the moment and be moved by that joy. The mind thinks it’s a boring endeavor, and it doesn’t want to stop and breathe and listen.  It likes to charge ahead and accomplish things, do the lists, execute the PLAN, and reap the lucrative results.

All we get is exhaustion and disappointment, even if things got accomplished. I pretty much spent my life there…

Success is to be able to slow down to the “still point” of existence and really be present in life. From there we can move in the direction of what truly fires us up, and if there is nothing exciting, to listen even closer for the deeper movement that might point toward a whole new path.

There is nothing to prove, no goal to run after and accomplish. Success in the Western society is based on physical and mental accomplishment. If we don’t fall in with that template we are losers or less than those who succeed in wealth and careers.

What about those who are physically and mentally challenged? I have noticed at lot of blissful smiles and stories of inspiration of a greater life among such people.  Not always of course, but we have a choice.

I have stood in front of that choice many times in my life. Right now I have come full circle again, back to point zero. I spent the last year accomplishing GREAT things (in my opinion.) I learned a lot of new skills, which I enjoy.  However, I didn’t get to where I wanted to be in my life, and some say, “try harder.”

BUT, I know that will not work.  I choose to delve more deeply into the moment. I choose the mystery of life over great accomplishments. That’s where the right path lies, and it’s infinitely more intriguing than the next mountain to climb.

There is nothing wrong with challenges. We grow through them, but hey, stop a moment, take a deep breath and realize where life truly IS.

It takes courage to follow the moment of Now, but it gets easier as we see the workings of that magic of life in our daily existence.

Are you excited about this new possibility, which is not new? It’s ancient, but we run faster and faster away from it…

I know I’m excited about it. The struggle stops here!

now2

asskickery, inspirational, life, motivational, purpose, self help

Stop if your heart is not on fire.

hellyeah

Stop if your heart is not on fire for something. I have been kind of in a slump lately and I’m pretty much re-evaluating everything. My friend and writer, Laura Probert, wrote an excellent post for Huffington Post, (link at the end.) She was inspired by Marie Forleo who said if it’s not a “hell yeah,” then don’t do it. It got me thinking about my own life and it’s been a while since I truly felt a “hell yeah” about anything.  Life is more like “meh.”

When I do things I don’t like to do to earn money (and that is the only reason,) I feel like a vague shearing sensation in my chest. It occurred to me that’s what people do; they spend a lifetime doing stuff they don’t like and then end up with heart disease. What is the greatest killer today: heart disease. I don’t know the statistics on how many people hate their jobs, but I suspect it’s a hefty percentage.

We created this mess. The kids are funneled like cows to slaughter through a school systems that does not work, to learn stuff they will never use. But stay in the fold for when you grow up, kiddo, you will or must have a job or you will be an outsider, and you will be poor.

I suppose a boring job is not the only cause for heart disease, and doctor’s will tell you it’s the food you eat, but I believe it’s a lot more than  that. It is based on deep misaligned emotion.

When we force ourselves into a shoe that doesn’t fit, we feel uncomfortable.  We know it’s wrong for us, but we force ourselves out of fear or out of lack of ideas for something better. School never encouraged you to think for yourself.

The forced and unhappy behavior will create disease in the body. You’ve heard it before.

People sometimes say that whatever disaster they went through was the best thing that ever happened to them, because it changed the course of their life. People who have had an awakening can’t go back to the old  mindset. It’s like society in general hypnotizes us into a humdrum existence and it takes something drastic to shake us up enough to see that we act like sheep.  We work like sheep and play like sheep. It gets very old.

My point here: What gives you fire in the belly? There is no time to waste. Screw humdrum, screw fear. It’s time to wake up and do it!

I have done a lot of passion inspired things in my life but right now I feel kind of “meh.”  I’m hoping life is taking a new turn soon, because the sense of “been there done that” is overwhelming. I can’t wait to get excited again. I don’t like that shearing feeling in my chest when I force myself to do things I don’t like. Hello anxiety.

What to do? Take stock of your emotions and pains in your body.  When you think of your job do you feel excited or full of dread? If you have no clue what makes you fired up with excitement, do some excavating of dreams and desires, the ones you shoved under the carpet, maybe?  It will take action to get out of the status quo, but everyone can do it with some effort. I know it’s possible.

For more ideas, read Laura’s article HERE.

xo

Maria

P.S. for some free art how to videos, check out my YouTube channel HERE.

asskickery, inspirational, life, motivational, purpose, transformation

How to know yourself better.

How to know yourself better?  What do you have to do? It is an infinite question for sure, but while we’re living in 3-D dimension there are a few things we can do that give us an idea of where we’re at.

You probably figured this already: it’s all about stretching boundaries.

1. This sounds simplistic, but try something that scares the sh*t out of you. I’m talking about doing something HUGE, like speaking in front of a big group of people, or jumping out of an airplane. Everyone has a different fear level of course. Shock yourself out of inertia.

You probably wonder why scaring the pants off yourself would show you about yourself. It does, though, because you don’t know exactly how you’re going to react. From your reaction you’ll know your strengths and your weaknesses.

Something that once was scary becomes commonplace, and then you move on to the next big stretch.  You don’t have to walk a tightrope across Niagara Falls…. unless you want to.

2.  Become less concerned about what people think and do more of what you love.  Yes, another obvious piece of advice, but how many people actually do this??  Again, it’s about boundaries. Every day has its own boundary: get up, drink coffee, shower, dress, go to work…..come back, chill, undress, sleep. This does not change unless we DECIDE to change. Stretching the boundaries of your routine could be to get up one or two hours earlier, do some meditation, walk in nature, journal, or doing something that makes your spirit soar, whatever it is. Talk about getting your day off to a good start!

Problem is, the rut gets deep, and it’s hard to change the groove, but it’s doable. With determination and a desire to change, you will do it.  Don’t let life get so bad that change is the only choice.

3. Listen to your heart.  Is it whispering about kicking out the discontent of your life?  Are you feeling a great deal of discontent? Well, do something about it!  That inner urge is not wrong, you know. Your sh*t-o-meter is working overtime and trust me, it knows what it’s doing.

Life does not end if you have to change careers, the opposite, in fact.  When you do something that is more aligned with your soul, you will find your joy sky-rocketing.

Fear will be there of course, but stretch those boundaries!  There is a perfect place for you, just as there is for me. Fear of the unknown is a drag, but by doing something different, you learn about yourself.  You might find that your capabilities are amazing! Wouldn’t that be worth a change? Kick the fear aside and do that thing you always wanted to do!

4. Learn something new all the time.  Yeah, that is an easy way to stretch boundaries. One thing leads to another and before you know it, you have a whole new set of tools to use.  Be an insatiable learner!  Many people stop where they think they are experts / teachers, but a true expert keeps on learning.

What would you love to learn today?  You know, THAT THING.

5. Help others. Serving at a soup kitchen is one thing, but how many times have you really listened to the person who needs help?  We tend to barge in and try to fix the problems, but lending a sincere ear is sometimes more difficult than serving up soup.  It means you have to engage with the person on a deeper level, and it can be confrontational. It’s a good way to learn about true compassion and stretching boundaries on a whole other level.

It can be painful to hear about other people’s difficulties, but you learn about yourself in the process. You might not like what you hear, but you gave the other person a chance to be heard. There is a huge lack of that in our society.

Stop being all about yourself.  For starters, begin listening to an important person in your life right now. No excuses.  Is it uncomfortable?  Feel the pain of your boundaries and then get over it.

6. Decide that now is the time to begin.  What is the very first thing you can do right now to improve your life and work on  getting out of the rut?

Do that now.

Then improve the next one.

What boundary can you stretch by taking action now?  That’s where you need to concentrate the most for now.

As you evolve, stretching will become easier and easier.  Ultimately, you look forward to the next challenge.

Go for it.  I know you can do it if you decide to do it. Give a sh*t about your life.

xo

Maria

P.S. I have a new e-course titled Meet Your Intuitive You.  You can read more about it HERE.

ecourse, inspirational, life, motivational, self help, transformation

Hating self-help questionnaires.

4 Comments

Why would I write such a title, “hating self-help questionnaires?” If you’re reading this you have read and filled out many worksheets, or skipped them altogether.  I know you all hate them.  I know I do.  They are boring, a thorn in the side.

I’m working on an e-course that is about finding your inner true north using your intuition. It’s about making choices that are healthy for you. The question is, do we want health?  I mean health in every sense of the word.

We do and we don’t. The side of us that wants a healthy balanced life answers the deep  inquiries and works on the issues or try to. The other side flings the dang workbook across the room as the inner rebel rears up, refusing to reply to any  questions that might overturn the status quo. Heaven forbid we would change!  We don’t need to change, right?

What is the wall that comes up and says “stop,  do not move any further.” It has many names but the most common name is resistance. If you dig deeper you come across fear and all sorts of unworthiness issues hiding behind resistance.

Most people avoid those uncomfortable feelings at all cost.

Questions are what start us on the road to inner discovery.

Writing on a workbook right now, I’m struggling with how to make the questions less confronting and more acceptable.  What would make people look forward to going in deep and releasing the beliefs and trapped feelings within?  What would make them actually finish the course and work through the issues?

There is a need for structured questions for sure, but what if another person asked them?  No writing down answers, just discussing what comes up and looking for “aha” moments. A lively interaction between two people who trust each other  might make going through a workbook desirable.

A bottle of wine, some yummy snacks, and a deep discussion based on the workbook could very well be the answer!

I don’t know how many times I have read a great self-help book, but when I reached the questions I  skimmed over them or ignored them altogether.

How many self-help books have your bought and never finished?

We like the IDEA of changing ourselves for the better, but when it comes to the actual work we often balk.

Workbooks and questionnaires might be out of style in this fast-paced world.

What if it became a more dynamic process?

I believe it’s more important to be open to the signs around us, accept that the world mirrors our states of mind. If there is a traffic jam maybe it’s a sign to slow down. If we keep making the same mistakes over and over, what belief / feeling INSIDE of us makes that happen?  If we can be aware and open in the now, all our shi*t will be revealed, and then we have to choose whether to work with it, or keep living in denial.  Denial will inevitably create more difficulties.

Some people do not believe in a world that mirrors your inner stuff, but if you do, it can be a hugely beneficial “school room.”

Life can be smoother, easier to accept with its ups and downs if we agree to work on our shi*t.  As you create peace with yourself, you create peace in the world.

My suggestion is, have a party with one or two friends, off-line or online, who are on the same path, or working on the same workbook. Get the stuff behind the resistance out into the open and decide to deal with it.

That is one way past resistance and into a life of fresh perception.