Why would I write such a title, “hating self-help questionnaires?” If you’re reading this you have read and filled out many worksheets, or skipped them altogether. I know you all hate them. I know I do. They are boring, a thorn in the side.
I’m working on an e-course that is about finding your inner true north using your intuition. It’s about making choices that are healthy for you. The question is, do we want health? I mean health in every sense of the word.
We do and we don’t. The side of us that wants a healthy balanced life answers the deep inquiries and works on the issues or try to. The other side flings the dang workbook across the room as the inner rebel rears up, refusing to reply to any questions that might overturn the status quo. Heaven forbid we would change! We don’t need to change, right?
What is the wall that comes up and says “stop, do not move any further.” It has many names but the most common name is resistance. If you dig deeper you come across fear and all sorts of unworthiness issues hiding behind resistance.
Most people avoid those uncomfortable feelings at all cost.
Questions are what start us on the road to inner discovery.
Writing on a workbook right now, I’m struggling with how to make the questions less confronting and more acceptable. What would make people look forward to going in deep and releasing the beliefs and trapped feelings within? What would make them actually finish the course and work through the issues?
There is a need for structured questions for sure, but what if another person asked them? No writing down answers, just discussing what comes up and looking for “aha” moments. A lively interaction between two people who trust each other might make going through a workbook desirable.
A bottle of wine, some yummy snacks, and a deep discussion based on the workbook could very well be the answer!
I don’t know how many times I have read a great self-help book, but when I reached the questions I skimmed over them or ignored them altogether.
How many self-help books have your bought and never finished?
We like the IDEA of changing ourselves for the better, but when it comes to the actual work we often balk.
Workbooks and questionnaires might be out of style in this fast-paced world.
What if it became a more dynamic process?
I believe it’s more important to be open to the signs around us, accept that the world mirrors our states of mind. If there is a traffic jam maybe it’s a sign to slow down. If we keep making the same mistakes over and over, what belief / feeling INSIDE of us makes that happen? If we can be aware and open in the now, all our shi*t will be revealed, and then we have to choose whether to work with it, or keep living in denial. Denial will inevitably create more difficulties.
Some people do not believe in a world that mirrors your inner stuff, but if you do, it can be a hugely beneficial “school room.”
Life can be smoother, easier to accept with its ups and downs if we agree to work on our shi*t. As you create peace with yourself, you create peace in the world.
My suggestion is, have a party with one or two friends, off-line or online, who are on the same path, or working on the same workbook. Get the stuff behind the resistance out into the open and decide to deal with it.
That is one way past resistance and into a life of fresh perception.
4 thoughts on “Hating self-help questionnaires.”
This made me laugh, cuz I’m one of those crazies that LOVES the questionnaires. I made my life into a healing journey and love filling out those things. I have found the benefit of digging deeper, and pushing through resistance to get there. But I admit, I might be a bit odd. I loved this because it is what most people do….we want the healing so badly, but we aren’t willing to do the vulnerable work. We should remember that while the work is internal, we don’t have to do it alone!
Laura, thank you for your comment! All you said is true. I feel more motivated if I work with a partner or small group.
I don’t always like doing worksheets or workbooks either! When the questions are too probing or they make me uncomfortable, I’ve been known to skip them. Sitting down and doing them eventually though, I’ve had many breakthroughs. 🙂 Great post!
Thank you, Tobi. Have many half-finished workbooks in my past, lol.
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