Hating self-help questionnaires.

Why would I write such a title, “hating self-help questionnaires?” If you’re reading this you have read and filled out many worksheets, or skipped them altogether.  I know you all hate them.  I know I do.  They are boring, a thorn in the side.

I’m working on an e-course that is about finding your inner true north using your intuition. It’s about making choices that are healthy for you. The question is, do we want health?  I mean health in every sense of the word.

We do and we don’t. The side of us that wants a healthy balanced life answers the deep  inquiries and works on the issues or try to. The other side flings the dang workbook across the room as the inner rebel rears up, refusing to reply to any  questions that might overturn the status quo. Heaven forbid we would change!  We don’t need to change, right?

What is the wall that comes up and says “stop,  do not move any further.” It has many names but the most common name is resistance. If you dig deeper you come across fear and all sorts of unworthiness issues hiding behind resistance.

Most people avoid those uncomfortable feelings at all cost.

Questions are what start us on the road to inner discovery.

Writing on a workbook right now, I’m struggling with how to make the questions less confronting and more acceptable.  What would make people look forward to going in deep and releasing the beliefs and trapped feelings within?  What would make them actually finish the course and work through the issues?

There is a need for structured questions for sure, but what if another person asked them?  No writing down answers, just discussing what comes up and looking for “aha” moments. A lively interaction between two people who trust each other  might make going through a workbook desirable.

A bottle of wine, some yummy snacks, and a deep discussion based on the workbook could very well be the answer!

I don’t know how many times I have read a great self-help book, but when I reached the questions I  skimmed over them or ignored them altogether.

How many self-help books have your bought and never finished?

We like the IDEA of changing ourselves for the better, but when it comes to the actual work we often balk.

Workbooks and questionnaires might be out of style in this fast-paced world.

What if it became a more dynamic process?

I believe it’s more important to be open to the signs around us, accept that the world mirrors our states of mind. If there is a traffic jam maybe it’s a sign to slow down. If we keep making the same mistakes over and over, what belief / feeling INSIDE of us makes that happen?  If we can be aware and open in the now, all our shi*t will be revealed, and then we have to choose whether to work with it, or keep living in denial.  Denial will inevitably create more difficulties.

Some people do not believe in a world that mirrors your inner stuff, but if you do, it can be a hugely beneficial “school room.”

Life can be smoother, easier to accept with its ups and downs if we agree to work on our shi*t.  As you create peace with yourself, you create peace in the world.

My suggestion is, have a party with one or two friends, off-line or online, who are on the same path, or working on the same workbook. Get the stuff behind the resistance out into the open and decide to deal with it.

That is one way past resistance and into a life of fresh perception.

Today was a great day!

I had a great day today.  Got up well rested (for once) and felt really pumped to do my work at the computer. That’s what life is all about, feeling great and looking forward to working every day.

I love creating. Lately I have been creating a couple of websites and e-courses instead of spending time in my studio, but all is in balance.

I have no choice but to go with the flow. When I feel inspired to do something I do it, no matter what my reason tells me to do.  I refuse to make myself small and do the “musts” and the “have tos.” Life is too short to keep following the rules I followed before I took charge of my life.

Life is supposed to feel liberating, and it does when I let it. I refuse to fight the flow.  It’s so much easier to go with the flow than to struggle against it. I struggled too many years as it is.

I have created a new website with an e-course on developing your intuition.  I’m working on the e-book right now, but if you want to be kept in the loop for the launch, please sign up for the newsletter HERE.

The e-course and the e-book are coming soon, and it’s going to be great!  It’s chockfull of ways to use your intuition in a constructive, practical way.  Do you use your intuition?



P.S. I do have an e-course available about art and the six senses, titled Visionary Art Journaling. It is lots of fun!  CLICK HERE to check it out.

Instant gratification.

Why are we addicted to instant gratification?   I guess it has been a gradual process in our society, and a huge disservice to humankind.  But we chose it.

Nature does not practice instant gratification.  There is a dormant period, a rising of the life force, a budding, a flowering, a setting of seed.  Repeat the cycle.

When we try to push through something that isn’t ready to get pushed through, it doesn’t happen, does it?  Not through our own efforts.  If it does, it’s not satisfying or fully integrated.

Whether we like it or not, we’re still bound to the process dictated by Nature, because we are connected to that same force.  Elementary, right?

If you rush through life, nothing good will come of it.  The actions might look productive on the surface but in the long run it’s a house of cards being built since the substance is missing.

Usually, all for a quick profit.

Do you want to feel proud, accomplished, and satisfied with your actions?  I know I do.  So let the project take its sweet ole time.  Follow the natural rhythm of things and know that it is the best way to get things accomplished, even if the world is clamoring for  hyper speed!!!

Do you want an ulcer or peace of mind?

What is so important that is has to happen right away?  Rome wasn’t built in a day as they say.  Nor was a baby.

If your baby is a business, it’s not going to be successful overnight, no matter what the gurus say.  Ideas have to be incubated, action has to be measured, a learning curve has to be followed to completion.

What if the path of joy is to do everything organically, at its own best pace?  The outcome is never the great climax we hope for, the satisfaction of each step taken, IS.  And it’s a quiet kind of triumph.

I’m all for a softer, more reflective pace.  The madness in the world goes on, but I choose not to be part of it.  You can do the same and be happier.  Guaranteed.  Just sayin’…  Up to you.

Because of layers.

You never truly know yourself because of  layers.  Sure you’ve heard it before.  Like with an onion you peel off one layer and find there’s another one underneath, shiny and glistening and mocking somehow.  But, an onion does not worry about its layers!

At the core we are all one, but if we look at the “baggage” there are any number of variations of bullshit that we think is important.  Let’s excavate and release!  But….

I don’t think it works that way.  You can work with layers, but where you end up is not perfection.  You can never get to the bottom of the layers, but you can experience the river of perfection that keeps you alive.  Forget about the layers; they lead nowhere.

Here’s a painting / mixed media I just finished.  It’s a good example of putting ON the layers instead of taking them off.


Broken Dreams 12×12″ mixed media

I started out with no idea at all.  I sprayed some paint on the canvas , rubbed it around, and let it dry.  Added some more layers, but I couldn’t see a picture emerging at all, so I glued on some papers (the only one showing now is the crinkly tissue paper in the corner.)  The papers led to nowhere, so I decided to just paint a face.  Faces are always tricky because you never quite end up where you plan to end up.  They take on a life of their own.

This one ended up with a slightly disdainful expression, but also with lots of inner power, so I accepted her.  Then I couldn’t get anything to stick on the right side.  I painted birds, leaves, a big flower.  They all looked wrong, so I scraped some paint over the whole and buried them.  All the layers add energy to the painting, so nothing is lost.

I have been into square shapes lately, so I added some of those.  At that time I had some dreams broken in my life so I “saw” them there.  I had to add a solution so there is an exiting square in the corner that says Let Go.

The art didn’t turn out like anything I envisioned, but I allowed it to emerge.  These kinds of paintings are tricky.  I never know if I like them or not.

The point is:  With every stroke of the brush, or any addition of paper, I altered the course of this piece of art. I didn’t know if it would work, but I could only move forward until I felt it was done, but far from perfect.  I had to accept it.

It is what it is.

What does that have to do with layers in life?  How can you know what will emerge as you remove layers?  Is it even possible?  Aha moments can come, and they often do, but what do they change?  On a good day, we might walk in a different direction and leave something behind that burdened us.  That is all good.

But, basically, isn’t it enough to accept ourselves exactly as we are today?  Trust that you are enough. Connect with your inner flow and just “BE YOU?”  When you do, something good emerges, the authenticity and power of who you are, layers and all.  Who gives a shit about layers?  Maybe psychoanalysts do, but I say, go for it, warts and all!   Be authentic.

Be your frigging AWESOME self, right now.  I have stopped trying to change or fix myself and there’s a lot of peace in that.

Peace out,


P.S. I often look at my paintings and think aliens painted them. When we allow flow, something much greater than the little self (shrouded in layers) comes out to play.  It is a path of mystery and curiosity.  If you want to try some art journaling, please sign up for my art newsletter for a primer and a mixed media tutorial.  CLICK HERE.

Bad ass cats.

badasscatGoogle images

Cats are totally bad ass for the most part.  It is a trait I admire since I constantly compromise in my life.  They never do (unless their safety is at stake.)

I have a feral cat that I feed.  I named him Wiley since that’s the perfect name for him.  Smart as whip and fast on the foot. He’s black with a white shirt front and a tiny bit of white on his four paws.  He has green sneaky eyes and a mean disposition.  He has beaten up my (mostly indoors) cat twice in the past to the detriment of my wallet.  Nowadays there is an uneasy truce between the two, basically because my cat runs inside when he sees Wiley.

My plan is to have Wiley trapped using the temptation of food.  I will then chauffeur him to the nearest spay and neuter clinic.  I suspect that he won’t go near the trap, so I haven’t even tried yet.

So, here’s the starving cat that I’ve been feeding every morning.  He would eat everything and then lick the bowl.  (He would eat the bowl if he could.)  He’s still really skinny in a slinky sort of way.

Anyway, since I don’t want the cats to eat me out of the house, I purchased some Purina One for him.  Not the worst of brands, but not the super deluxe grain free stuff I feed my cat.

Pleased with myself I set the bowl on the ground and go inside.  He won’t eat if I’m outside.  I stand in the window and watch him.  He sniffs the bowl suspiciously and TURNS UP HIS FRIGGING NOSE!

Then he walks away.

I could not believe this, but the proof was right there.  My point?  Cats, no matter how hungry they are, can obviously stop themselves from inhaling the food, bowl and all, if it’s the “wrong” brand.  AND walk away with their head held high.

It is the quality I most admire in cats.  No compromises.  It’s my way or no way.  Forever.

I have met many people with the same quality, but they never pull it off elegantly like a cat.  People can’t get away with that level of disdain or they get shot. They also care about the outcome, which cats don’t. They  don’t give a frig.

They walk into the future with the openness of what nature will bring next.  They don’t look back with regret, or wish things were different.  They are always open to opportunity, and if things turn to shit, they crawl under a shed and lick their paws.  They don’t complain and blame the other party; they just deal with it the best they can.

They live life head on.  They are present.

Studying cats is not wasted time.  I have learned a lot from living with cats for many years.  I admire their focus and ability to watch and absorb the moment.

I admire their detachment, which borders on selfish behavior, but they never lie about who they are or try to be something different.  They don’t live to please.  They live without excuses.  They don’t feel unworthy.  They take on life with pride and a sense of greatness.  “Look at me; I am king.”  (And bad ass  gorgeous to boot.) That’s just the way things are.

They know how to lounge in style.

A cat is also a total bundle of soft purring love and squinty eyes.  They love a good cuddle–on their terms.

It would not be a bad thing if we all lived more like cats.  Everyone would mind their own business, for one.  We might not get along any better than we do now, but we wouldn’t give a frig, and thus let the issues resolve themselves.

I can hear lots of arguments to that statement, but I don’t give a frig.

Discovering the epic.

Dear reader,

It is about discovering the epic, the truth of who we are and what we can share with the world, not just the small stuff, but that which is truly grand.

I was asking myself that question this morning. I have no problem producing artsy things to share or sell, but I thought about the perspective of my sphere of knowledge. I have lots of experience, but in the big scheme of things, what I know is small, not anything epic by a long shot.

I share where I’m at now. It’s like walking down a dark road with a weak flashlight that also flickers. Stuff out of scary movies, right?

But I take one step forward, and that’s as far as I can see.

I guess that’s living in the now.

And that’s all there is.

My fearful little self doesn’t like it, not by a long shot. Maybe the only epic action in life is to step off the proverbial cliff and see what happens. (I’m afraid of heights.) Epic is to do “it” no matter what. Maybe you have to risk is all to have it all?

I look at people who have epic concepts and I wonder how they came across such knowledge. I believe we’re all made to be epic in the best possible way.

What is the divinely inspired “thing” that sets me apart from others and allows me to create epic shit that only I can create.

I honestly don’t know.

I want to know. I go within and ask in meditation, but the Universe is strangely quiet lately. To my ears at least, or maybe I’m not really listening. I’m multi-tasking writing this blog post in my head and planning out my day. I’m just thinking of the few paces I can see ahead, and they are mighty small from an epic perspective.

So I miss the point of stepping into epic. However, I can only act from where I am right now.

What is epic anyway? I don’t know. It’s a concept. Frodo’s struggle to bring the ring to the Mount of Doom was epic. In that sense epic is something that is greater than us. Frodo could not do it alone. He got help along the way.

To create something massively awesome that affects a lot of people in a good way is beyond one person alone, but it can be done with a little help from your friends.

To dare to create something, however small is an epic action since most people never create anything, just live day by day in zombie land.

Say you get an epic inspiration for something so big it scares the pants off of you. It’s not like you can turn your back on that. It’s like a “knowing” and once you know, you can’t un-know it. But you have no idea how to implement it into 3D living.

All you can do is take one step forward and as the whole plan is slowly revealed people will show up along the path to help because it’s epic. They can see the value of your inspiration.

Or maybe it will hit you in a flash!

Truth is you’re the driver; you’re the one who takes action every day.

I’m good at taking action.

Until epic strikes I can take one step forward, and then another one until I’m ready. Yeah, I guess that’s it. It’s very likely the steps actually lead to epic but I can never be certain.

 One step at a time, and I’m golden.

What are you doing that is worthwhile today?



P.S. Check out some of my non-epic stuff, but still good, lol. HERE

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Artist and writer