Needing validation is like breathing; it’s something we all do. As artists it’s important to have someone say, “what a great painting,” or “I love your art” or “your art gives me a good feeling.”
We love comments like that whether they are honest or not. Validation makes your work worthwhile.
However, if you sense the compliments are not sincere, you start doubting your talent (again.) I assume we come from a place of doubting the art all the time. I know I do, except for a few times when I truly KNEW the paintings were great.
How does it all start?
As kids we had to find out if what we made was any good. I remember showing drawings to my dad, and thank goodness, he always said they were nice. I still remember that.
But I also remember the bullies in school who always tried to tear you down, especially if you’d done something good, like gotten an A on a test, created a beautiful painting or broken a school record of some sort.
To seek validation is like making sure we are alive.
If we didn’t get any validation who’s to say we even exist, right?
That’s a pretty deep question, but one place were we can find true validation is within. You can validate your worthiness through whatever physical aspect you use to express. Worthiness is a feeling inside.
When you feel good about something you did, that’s validation enough.
We are social creatures but do we need the false compliments that people hand out to be “nice?” I say thank you for every compliment, false or true. I’m not going to confront someone about their honesty.
So how do you get to a point where inner validation is enough?
You have to learn to trust yourself.
Trust is a sense that was beaten out of us since childhood. “Trust no one.” I remember I learned to keep secrets so as not to be punished I was four years old. It didn’t get any better through life until I realized I have give myself the gift of trust.
If I trust in me, I can trust the world. The secret is to grow the trust within so that the games of the world do not affect you.
Trust, like worthiness, is a soul feeling.
I have learned to trust more through forgiving others and most of all, myself, for having a low opinion of myself.
Make a list of people you need to forgive today. Truly forgive them for all they have done to you, and ask for forgiveness for your stuff. This can be done in silence, but you need to be sincere.
Life is so much easier, brighter, and filled with possibilities when the burden of guilt and shame is gone.
Through inner trust you can find true validation.
Forgive yourself for art that didn’t work out and try again, and again. Life is a journey, art a process.
Life itself is validation enough.
Fear and mistrust go hand in hand. I have another blog post that takes this further, What do you fear?
Make something fun today!
P.S My etsy shop is stocked to the brim. 🙂 Sale coming up SOON! EarthandFaery