Pondering authenticity

Pondering authenticity is what I did this morning, and yesterday too, as I worked in my art journal.  There is the eternal question of “who are you?”  Besides a spark of the Divine that we all share, what is truly important in my life?

The answer is easy: to grow my soul. It has nothing to do with art, but I’m using that as a medium.  It’s about becoming more, to expand, to learn, to deepen.

Lately, I’ve been feeling empty, Inspiration has been far away.  Not even a promise of cookies and ice cream has brought back the muse.

To some extent, I have felt uncomfortable with the art I have been making. There is a very fine line between copying and authenticity.

What with so many e-courses and workshops offered about intuitive art, which is my main art interest, I find that you’re prone follow the “ways” of the teacher, and you learn to let go of the restraint of conventional art beliefs. This is all great and all the courses serve a purpose.

But what if you feel stymied even with these free-flowing ways?

I have tried it all, and always come back to myself, feeling there is a piece missing.

I’m left with myself and my feelings of inadequacy. If I truly follow my art moment to moment, the pieces won’t be popular or get many likes on Instagram. This is a fact. I have delved into my art making this way, and then felt I could do better. It’s the ego that wants recognition and praise for the “beauty” of the art.

That is not authenticity.  It’s sooo easy to fall into styles, be it spiritual art or abstracts or avant-guard non styles.

If I allow my art to develop, one paint stroke at a time, I come up with these blocky paintings.

pondering authenticity

pondering authenticity

pondering authenticity

These paintings tell a story. They are not pretty, but I sense myself in them more than in any other kind of art. Here is an example of another painting that I then painted over because it wasn’t worthy. (Sorry about the poor quality of the photo.)

pondering authenticity

The painting then turned into this:

pondering authenticity

So much prettier, right?

I suggest we are slaves to styles, trends, and what is considered beautiful by the majority. i know because I’ve tried to cater to the crowds by making my art pretty and acceptable.

I do have many paintings where I have followed the brush strokes, and they haven’t sold, for the most part.  Here are a couple of old paintings that I still have on my wall.

pondering authenticity

I painted “Moon Goddess” in 2009. I find that my truly intuitive leaning has a hint of the indigenous art you see in many cultures.

My art journal spreads reminds ME of something indigenous in Mexico of old. It’s more of a feeling than a fact.

Below is the process of a painting, “Balance,” that I painted in 2008. It’s one of my favorite paintings and now it’s hanging over my bed. I had it for sale for years, but no takers.

pondering authenticity

pondering authenticity
old studio space

pondering authenticity

My friends say they can see me in all of my art, which is probably true, but to me it’s about exploration.

So authenticity is not really a noun, it’s a verb that means DOING, or taking action. Only through action can we evolve. Authenticity is something strange and wondrous that you explore, not in your mind, but with your hands and heart.

Authenticity only deepens as we dare to go down the road of “not pretty” or sales-worthy.  The good thing about art journaling you don’t aim to sell any of it. That takes the pressure off.

Authenticity can’t be explained, only experienced. You can’t really ponder it, but it’s there to be felt.

Whatever the online gurus fling around the internet as in “be your authentic self” is not practical to the individual.  You can follow their lead, but it’s ultimately your inner exploration / prompt that is valid to  you. Other artists’ ways will put a restraint on your soul.

However, any art making is good as it moves you forward. 🙂  Just do it any way you can!

Want more inspiration? Check out this post: Trusting The Unknown.

Looking for a gift? I have items for sale in my etsy shop: Earth and Faery.

Have a great weekend!

Maria

Why do you do what you do?

Why do you do what you do?  That is kind of playing with words, but seriously, what keeps you going in your current direction?

why do you?
why do you?

I journaled about that this week, asking myself, why do I make art? Why do I WANT to make art? There are several reasons of course:

I like it.

Something inside pushes me to create in whatever media of the day.

I love working with my hands.

I like to experience the process, the revelation.

I like to be surprised.

I love to feel that I’m a tool for something greater, but more often than not, it’s a regular day in the studio, where nothing really extraordinary happens any given day.

BUT, basically, the true answer is: I want to create to reach beyond my 3D existence and learn more about my unseen and hidden life. I want to be connected more deeply to the Divine, and I feel art does that for me, besides meditation, which I experience every day.

Why do you?
Why do you….

The unplanned result of a painting sometimes takes my breath away. It’s no way I created that. I availed myself to the process, but what came through was MORE than me.

I believe we’re supposed to live that way, to offer ourselves as a tool to the Divine who then speaks beauty and inspiration through us. You don’t have to be an artist to live that way.

The role of an artist is to be a catalyst for beauty, but also trigger a longing to know MORE about life.

It’s hard to explain when you stand in awe in front of a painting. What is that awe? Certainly not triggered by the brushstrokes, though you might admire those too.

It’s that undefined something, the diamond in the coal, that makes me want to show up for my art every day. I fail to show up a lot, and I fail to be inspired, but there is something pushing me along.

The more I can express that Something, the closer I get to my true, magnificent self.  That is the adventure; find out more about the radiant magnificent being that I am living in a multi-dimensional universe.

It is the greatest adventure!! What is pushing you from inside? It’s time to blaze new trails, discover the diamond within.  It’s ultimately the only way to live if you want to be ALIVE.

Writing in your journal and digging deep around your “why” is a grea exercise!

Lots of love to you! Have a great weekend.

Maria

P.S. I just posted the above ready-to-use art journal in my etsy shop this morning. If you have a fear of the blank page, check it out. EARTH AND FAERY.

Old art feels new again

Old art feels new again if enough time goes by. Some art doesn’t, and those canvases can be painted over with newer impressions, but sometimes I pull out an old painting and pause. If it touches my heart, it’s still good. It was created in 2007.

That’s how universal art is created.  It has a timeless quality.

Mind you, everything is in the eye of the beholder and I’m of course partial to my own art.

I’m amazed how many styles I have tested over the years, from Americana folk art, to abstracts, to all sorts of mixed media, and now mostly intuitive art, which is really abstract if you want to be picky. Though sometimes weird figures abound.

Here are some pictures of my 2007 painting, Magic Happens:

old art, magic happens
Old art

 

old art
old art

I used all kinds of texture, from polymer compound to collage to crumpled tissue paper. The paint enhance the texture in major ways. The hand was cut out of a magazine page, my own hand pattern. Then I applied layers on paint on top.

old art
So much fun! The bird spreads some words of wisdom through her song!
old art
Check out that texture! I think I used large bubble wrap to create those texture circles. I was in an experimental mode for sure. 

This painting is available for sale in my etsy shop. You can head there if you want to see more pictures. I uploaded ten pictures there.

Earth and Faery etsy shop.

Have a creative week. I started in my studio this morning and ended up looking at old art. The mind wanders its own path….

xo

Maria

Spirit guardians and other surprises

Spirit guardians showed up on my canvas yesterday, and part of me knows them well.  One is a fantasy lion, and I have always loved birds of all kinds.

I painted this painting in the past, maybe three years ago:

abstract art

I liked the movement and the colors but I could not reconcile myself with the finished art.  The lines were too harsh among other things. So, I painted over it with a mess of marks and colors. I don’t have a picture of that, but something in me saw figures emerging from the mess. My previous post has a picture of such color mess.

I think we all have “x-ray” eyes and the subconscious leads us into the unknown, if we can trust. That painting ended up being the “Spirit guardians” below, though I must say that all layers underneath are never lost. The energy remains.

spirit guardians

The cat doesn’t look exactly like a cat, but it doesn’t matter. I often dream of lions and they protect me, and I love the strength and the “sun-like” quality of that particular cat.

Three birds showed up as well. It takes a lot of trust to knit it all together, but when you do it many times, it becomes an urge to keep going until it’s done.

I also finished an old painting that I now call Anxiety/Overwhelm. I have experienced that a lot lately and it feels good to express it. The result is peace inside.

anxiety overwhelm

This painting has many layers as well.  It is telling me to slow down and forget the craziness of the world around me.

Sometimes I wonder how paintings can go from one image to something totally different, but it’s part of the fun discovery of the unknown, the unexpected.

That’s why I love intuitive art so much and why I want my spirit guardians to step through and take on color and form. It’s a very empowering feeling. Art that touches the soul is empowering for the artist and the viewer.

Always shoot for bringing out the best of your inner artist. It may be a long journey, but it will make you very happy! It makes such a difference to make things in life that are worthwhile. When you feel happy and fulfilled you know you’ve hit the right groove!

The paintings are for sale in my etsy shop Earth and Faery.

Enjoy your creativity. Don’t waste any more time on “killing time.”

xo

Maria

Trusting the unknown

Trusting the unknown is sometimes the hardest thing to do. All artists travel into the unknown in search of personal style.

It’s always safe to copy others or paint by numbers, but what are YOU about?  The art reveals many things. I have used art as an oracle to find answers and when you consider the colors, the composition, the details, you can find out what is going on inside.

Our inner life is not easy to understand since we rely mostly on thoughts and programmed beliefs, but when a painting comes together you can see the soul of the artist, if he/she dared to explore the unknown, a.k.a. revealing their soul.

I wanted to document a painting here that I have been working on for ages. It’s still not done. My camera lens has been collecting a lot of dust since I started taking pictures of the progress, but it is what it is. Maybe I will post the finished painting at some point.

It became another chaos painting (like the one I wrote about in a previous post.)

There was an old painting underneath and I confess I’ve used this canvas to dab excess paint from other projects. The only part I liked was the little sun.

I added some white paint and squiggles when I decided to make something of this painting, if possible.

In the squiggles in picture number two I saw a face and I decided to enhance what I saw. I liked the outcome of the face but I have no idea what to do with the rest of the painting.

That’s where trust comes in. The painting does not have to be finished NOW. It could be finished two years from now. You have to trust in the long game. What is supposed to be on the canvas will reveal itself.

I have trusted enough in the past to know that it ALWAYS  resolves itself, but in the long game, who knows when? The unknown is vast and human patience has strict limitations.

We can stretch our limitations to face the mystery within. One way is through meditation. Art is a like a living meditation, but also a memoir of where we have been through the years. Trusting the unknown is essential to an artist as we have the “power” to make people stop and feel, and think. By trusting our own unknown, we become a road sign for someone who is looking for ways to touch their unknown.

I have debated with myself whether to offer another class on intuitive development through art. It would not just be painting, but lots of exercises on how to build a relationship with your intuition.

I will get back with more info soon. I think I will call it Art and Spirit Alchemy. What do you think?

If you missed the post about my previous chaos painting, here is the link: Tree Painting’s Journey from Chaos to Peace. 

There is no guarantee the tree painting is completely done, but it’s almost there. 🙂 Maybe.

A lady bought four of my paintings on etsy these last couple of days, so I’m happy about that. You can check out my offerings there if you like. Earth and Faery. 

Until the next time, paint away! Don’t be shy.

xo

Maria

Practice never makes perfect

Practice never makes perfect is true in some sense, though I believe that practice makes perfect if, say, you’re learning a new language. The art practice never ends. Some say that if you can paint something hyper-realistic you might call it perfect, but I bet the artist still strives for even more perfection.

Truth is, why strive for perfection in the first place? Artists want to get better at their techniques, of course. They want to execute their craft better for more personal satisfaction.

But what if you just want to express yourself, not perfecting the craft of painting perfect landscapes or faces?

Everyone can express themselves.  It only takes a willingness to try.

Trying involves getting some materials, like an art journal or old book that you can alter (use as an art journal.) Buy a few acrylic (fast-drying) paints in colors you love, get some glue or medium, a few brushes, some markers, and a bunch of old magazines.

You can paint a background with a couple of your paints, anything goes. Draw stick figures, paint them, cut out images from magazines, words that speak to you. Add more paint and writing if necessary. Add stuff until you feel it’s right, if not perfect.

Then you practice to let go. It’s good enough!

It’s a great way to see in color what is important to you in life, and art!

What it actually takes is to do it, no excuses.

Carve out some time for creativity. Explore who you are, your wishes and dreams. Expressing in art is an age-old practice.

practice does not make perfect
practice

Art journaling can be challenging, but no one has to see your pages unless you want to share them.

Even if you hate the pages, at some point you’ll hit on a symbol or mixture of symbols you love and that will inspire you to continue making more pages. You’ll collect more stuff to add to your spreads, a bit at a time.

practice does not make perfect
practice
practice does not make perfect
practice

I keep making art because I feel a need for it.  Maybe you won’t feel a need unless you really keep doing it, as with  exercise.  I can’t speak for you, but making art gives me a special kind of satisfaction, a feeling that it’s important.

I made a YouTube video of the first spread I made (above). You can watch it here to get inspired (hopefully.)

Without my art, my life seems to lack something. I go into my studio with anticipation and leave it feeling, oh well, many feelings, among them happiness, frustration, annoyance, challenged, inspired, accomplished. Every day is different.

I have more how-to videos on YouTube. They will help you explore your own creativity.

I have also made some more art journals for sale in my etsy shop. They will help if you fear the “blank white page.”  ETSY SHOP.

Have a creative weekend, folks!

Here are a couple of blog posts about facing your fear and lack of motivation.

The Dog Ate My Motivation

Fear Holding You Back?

xo

Maria